Parenting Matters - October 2011

GETTING UNSTUCK

“Getting stuck is not a problem. Staying stuck is. Good learners practice getting unstuck…” Alistair Smith

At the age of three, my eldest son climbed into a deep chair at a friend’s home and was unable to get out of it. We still tease him to this day because, with his lisp at the time, he declared: “I’m thtuck!” If he had tried to extricate himself from that particular piece of furniture, which was rather unstable, both he and the chair would have landed upside down on the floor. This was one of those moments when we had to step in to help.

In many instances, however, especially as our children get older, we need to hold back from jumping in to help and see what our children are capable of doing, themselves. Just this weekend, we visited a wonderful venue that offers kids the opportunity of zip lining, tight-rope walking etc, all the while attached with safety harnesses. I was totally fascinated watching my two nieces aged 8 and 9 as they listened to the ‘how to’ spiel from the guide. This was no easy task as he had about 25 kids around him of varying ages and not every child could see or hear him clearly.

As the girls went out on the training circuit to practice the techniques before going out onto the much higher courses, I just casually asked if they had understood the instructions, which they said they did. One of them had never clipped a carabineer on a rope before and I watched with fascination as they both worked their way around the course, doing exactly what they had been told and building their confidence step-by-step. Then, one of them managed to get herself stuck. A part of me wanted don my saviour cape and go and stand beneath her to tell her what to do to get out of this sticky situation, while another part of me said, “She’s in no danger, just stay put and see what she does.” True as Bob, she became unstuck – all by herself – and continued even more confidently than before. I was a very proud auntie! I often wonder how such a positive, seemingly insignificant experience might have a ripple effect in every aspect of her life moving forward. I bet it does.

The same goes for older children when they come to you to discuss a problem or issue. They aren’t necessarily looking to be given an answer but might just need someone to verbalise their thoughts to, which helps them to come up with a solution. Beware of doing all of your child’s problem solving for them. “I know it’s easy but children need to learn from their own perspective rather than depending on you as their parent to think and act for them,” says Dr Wayne Dyer in his book, What Do You Really Want for Your Children? He suggests counting to 10 silently before interfering in a child’s process. In this way you will be equipping your child to handle anything that life might throw at them because they will have developed creative problem solving skills of their own.

Allow your child to practice getting unstuck, independently, so that when they do get stuck again, they won’t just give up, they will know it is just an opportunity to do something in a different way.

NIKKI BUSH

Grade 6 Promotion Lunch

The Grade 6 Promotion Lunch was held in the school hall on Thursday, 17 November 2011. The hall was beautifully decorated in purple and gold balloons. The Grade 6 "queens" were served by the Grade 5 "princesses". Mrs Owgan gave the girls advice on following their own destiny and path in life. She wished them every success in the High School. Thank-you to the Grade 5 Class Moms and girls for all their hard work.

Farewell to Mrs Hoggan and Mrs Jackson

Our head girl and deputy head girls
 paid tribute ot Mrs Jackson.

In assembly on Wednesday, 16 November 2011, we bid farewell to two of our Brescia Stars. Mrs Sally Hoggan is immigrating to Australia after 14 years od service. Mrs Gail Jackson is retiring after 10 years at Brescia House School. We will miss them both and wish them both much happiness in their new ventures.








5J make a poem.



The after care girls and Grade 5 H made Mrs Hoggan
 cry with their beautiful farewell speaches.





The school sang about how wonderful
these ladies are...



Nativity Photographs

 



Mrs Conlan (Director)



Mr Roberts (Musical Director)





Nativity Performance Wednesday, 16 November

Congratulations to Mrs Conlan , the Foundation Phase teachers and our very special Foundation Phase girls for two wonderful Nativity performances. We enjoyed every minute of your original and charming shows. We are very proud of all of you!

APPS Gala Photographs

Below are some photographs taken at the APPS Gala last Wednesday morning:

 

 

Parenting Matters- October 2011

CHILDREN SHINE AT DIFFERENT TIMES

We are heading for that time of year when children get awards for their performance in the classroom or on the sports field – or they don’t.

There is often a small core of children who repeatedly get awards year after year, and then there is the mixed bunch surrounding this core that changes each year. A child receiving an award is at his or her best, right now. But the reality is that our children grow, shift and change all the time and this means that they will peak in different areas of their lives at different times.

The mastery timeline for intellectual, physical and emotional development is not cast in stone. There are things we can do to help our children to sharpen the saw in certain areas, but sometimes it’s time, maturity and patience that are required.

I also believe that children grow and develop in different ways every year, many of which, may not even be directly connected to academics or sport, but may in fact be as, or more, important. For example, it might be your child’s year to grow in confidence. Many small successes in a multitude of areas, some of which may not be publically recognised, may be just what is required to prepare the platform for your child to go on and shine at some future time. Perhaps it has been a year of repeated disappointments, of not making sports teams or just missing the marks they were aiming for, or a year characterised by breaking up of friendships or friends moving schools or countries. This kind of year provides the opportunity to learn about failure, disappointment and perseverance. And some children have the odd year when their health is more compromised, in some instances, just because they have grown very fast, and this too will impact on their performance both on and off the field.

No two years are the same. We need to embrace them all and ask ourselves:
What were the lessons this year provided?
What were the worst parts of the year?
What were the best parts of the year?
How are we, or how is our child, stronger for the experience?
Is there anything we need to change for next year?

When you have had this conversation as parents, then you can casually and, when and if appropriate, introduce the conversation to your child, to help him/her to discover the lessons and to grow from them positively. In this way you will be helping to break through their limiting thoughts, to ‘unbox’ themselves, so to speak.

All children need something to strive for and measure themselves against which is why we have standards, norms and award systems. Measuring your child only against the annual school awards can, for many, be a very unfair benchmarking tool. It can also, however, be a fantastic starting point for a conversation about individual differences, their gifts and talents and all the good things they bring into your life and the lives of others.

Children need to know that you are there every step of the way, encouraging and applauding their development, regardless of the awards they do or do not receive. Remember that you see a lot of amazing things that others never will. We need our kids to fully believe in the concept that everyone shines at some time or another and in very different ways. They need to be happy for those who shine today, for it is their moment, and hold on to the belief that, “If I keep learning, practicing and growing, my time will one day come, in its very own way.” And that’s okay.

NIKKI BUSH