Parenting Matters - November 2010/3

BECOMING MASTER OF THE SOUND BITE

This generation of children doesn’t like to be preached to; it tends to switch them off. Thinking like a marketer and becoming masters of the short sound bite are becoming important skills for 21st century parents. This reminds me of a dentist friend of mine who has brought up two fine young men, now in their early 30s. Some time ago he said to me that mothers have got it all wrong. “You give long winded speeches and you nag. Dads get it right. We say what we need to say in as few words as possible because we know after the first 30 seconds our kids have lost interest. The trick is to get the really important stuff in first before they switch off, or get the interesting stuff in up front to grab their attention so that they want to continue with the conversation.”

I have been contemplating this comment recently in the context of social media and technology, and I believe that it is more valid now than it was then. Our children share information with each other in short sound bites via SMS, Twitter and Facebook (hopefully using these platforms when age appropriate, of course). Cellphones and Twitter, for example, only allow one to use a total of 140 characters per message. This has led to the development of short forms and abbreviations to enable us to say more in less space. In fact, the younger generation has created a whole new text based language which hopefully you are starting to be able to decode. FYI POS means Parent Over Shoulder – a good short form to know! Our children are also used to being advertised to constantly. They are bombarded by approximately 5 000 carefully crafted, short, value-laden marketing messages every week in the 7 – 12 year old age category. I think my dentist friend may have a point.

In the interests of effective parenting, you have to start thinking more like a marketer – one who is paying a lot for airtime on radio or TV. Learn to say what you need to say in short, catchy ways so that your message grabs their attention and is memorable, instead of giving long sermons that result in a yawn and a shrug accompanied by “Whatever.” Feel free to borrow liberally from other people and other sources when necessary or when appropriate. Here are a few examples:

Ø “Caring is sharing,” and “Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere. Clean up, clean up everybody do your share.” How many of us have hooked on to some great values expounded by our favourite purple dinosaur? Good advice for life not just for tiny tots

Ø “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.” In the interests of hygiene:

Ø “If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down.” In the interests of saving water, a resource more precious than oil!

Ø “You only have one mind, one body, and one reputation. They must be protected – by you.” A sound bite I have developed to help parents teach their tweens and teens to protect themselves on the internet and social media because you won’t always be there to protect them.

The bottom line is not that short sound bites should replace proper conversation, but that there is a need for more conversations that matter and fewer speeches that don’t. Sound bites can be great conversation openers.

NIKKI BUSH

Creative parenting expert, inspirational speaker and co-author of Future-proof Your Child (Penguin, 2008), and Easy Answers to Awkward Questions (Metz Press, 2009)
nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za
http://www.brightideasoutfit.com/