HOMEWORK HURDLES
There are days when homework is a breeze and days when it is a grind. When it goes well I feel fabulous, and when it doesn’t the levels of frustration and despair can be overwhelming. Add to this the fact that we no longer live in an ideal world in which we would get home at the same time from school or extra-murals every day, allowing us to consistently do homework at the same time in the same place.
Today, some kids are completing their homework at aftercare while their parents are at work; others are having to do bits and bobs in the car in between various extramural activities, and then there are those sitting with a parent in a waiting room or on the side of a swimming pool while the older or younger sibling completes an activity. This doesn’t sound like a very disciplined approach but it certainly is a reflection of the new world of work where connectivity and technology enable us to work anywhere, anytime, as long as the job gets done on time.
The homework that falls foul of this more flexible approach is project work and studying for tests and exams. This is when we really have to make an effort to get our children home to their quiet homework spot where they can focus without distraction.
Like anything with children, they need to know the rules and the boundaries in order to develop a disciplined approach to homework and sometimes these must be tailored to the specific child and circumstances on the day too. Here are some pointers:
1. Some children need a rest between school/extra-murals and getting their noses back to the grindstone, while others will just be able to focus immediately and get the job done. In the former case, flopping down in front of the TV for half an hour before homework is common, however I am finding that watching television doesn’t recharge their batteries, rather it drains them further. Solution: try playing a short 10 minute game together, whether it is a card game or kicking a ball. There is nothing like play to raise energy and happiness levels.
2. Watching TV can rather be a reward for getting the homework done.
3. If your child is particularly tired and you are battling to get through all the work, use a bit of creativity and move away from pen and paper if the work doesn’t have to be handed in. Times tables and spelling can easily be tackled in shaving cream on the side of the bath or on the tiles.
4. A whiteboard marker on old ceramic sealed tiles works wonders for the same activities and even for making mind maps. And how about writing letters, words and numbers with one’s finger on the kitchen counter in some sprinkled flour? These little creative tricks can make homework more tolerable on a challenging day and you might also look like a hero instead of an ugly parent.
5. Remember that you are a helper not a doer. You do not need to pass grade 6 for the second time.
6. Help if you need to and then pull back. If you find you are helping too much you may need to engage the help of the teacher if your child is not grasping a concept.
7. Don’t just praise, encourage the effort going in to the homework.
8. When all else fails, and homework is getting in the way of your relationship, many parents hire in the services of a homework tutor and wish they had done it years ago.
Homework is a daily reality of life for a school-going child. I am sure if it was pasted up on Facebook it wouldn’t necessarily be ‘shared’ or ‘liked’, but it is here to stay so make it as hassle-free as you can.
NIKKI BUSH
Creative parenting expert, inspirational speaker and co-author of Future-proof Your Child (Penguin, 2008) and Easy Answers to Awkward Questions (Metz Press, 2009)
nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za
http://www.brightideasoutfit.com/
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