“If you dive under the boat and swim underneath it to the other side I’ll vote you Mother of the Year!” challenged my youngest son while on holiday recently, followed by, “Let’s do it together.” How could I get out of that?
Now you need to understand that I swim to cool down and not for exercise and I rarely get my hair wet. I also don’t like swimming in dark water where I cannot see the bottom, and here we were in a grassy lagoon. My saving grace and the only reason I decided to follow through with the dare was that the sun was shining, the water was a beautiful clear blue, and I could see the bottom. Add to that, I was boiling hot and the thought of being my children’s hero was really attractive.
Of course, I made the boys go first, and then I nearly chickened out. Then I thought, “Just do it, if not for the boys, for the feeling you’re going to get afterwards, when you have done something you wouldn’t normally do, when you’ve conquered your fear of being in big water. Show the children that you can cope with being out of your comfort zone or risk being a sissy!” So I took the plunge. It was such fun and they were so thrilled that I actually did it a few more times. Woohoo!
We really do need to surprise our children every now and again by doing something totally out of the ordinary or unexpected to keep them on their toes. It reminds me of the year we went on a canopy tour, flying through Tsitsikamma Forest on ziplines, 20 – 30m above ground level. It was a challenge to my senses considering that I have never been that good with heights so this was a bit of a stretch for me. I have to admit to having butterflies the first few times (actually it was a tingling, prickly feeling in my feet), but the look on the faces of my children as they watched me was well worth being out of my comfort zone.
We must encourage our children to try out different things, to get out of their comfort zones. That is how we learn and grow, how we break down barriers and create new benchmarks for ourselves. It’s memory-making too. So, get out there and do the unexpected. And being Mother of the Year – I can live with that! I guess that means I’m up for a few more challenges in the future. What we only do for our children!
NIKKI BUSH
Creative parenting expert, inspirational speaker and co-author of Future-proof Your Child (Penguin, 2008), and Easy Answers to Awkward Questions (Metz Press, 2009)
Parenting Matters/ January 2011
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