Parenting Matters - October 2011

MOURN THE PERFECT CHILD
Every parent has, at some point, had a picture in their mind's eye of the perfect child. And when the reality doesn't match the picture, then the journey to fix the child begins -- to shape and mould the child to get them as close to picture-perfect as possible. We are usually unconscious of the game we are playing until someone points it out to us.
There are any number of ways to help a child to fulfil their potential, many of which are appropriate and well-intentioned, from extra sports coaching, to extra lessons to therapy, and of course a belief in one's own child (all of which can be taken to extremes) Indeed, it is part of our responsibility as parents to provide a secure emotional environment and a physical environment rich with learning experiences and opportunities. However, in the words of a very wise teacher, there comes a time when parents must allow themselves to mourn the perfect child and accept who their child is with all their strengths and weaknesses too.
No child is perfect. No child has it all or does it all. Children need to be loved for who they are, for the very essence of their being, and not for what they can do or what they achieve. This can be a bitter pill for parents to swallow, especially around exam and assessment time when gaps, weaknesses or inadequacies tend to be highlighted.
Celebrate your child and work with what was left in, rather than constantly trying to put in what was left out. Be realistic. Be their best cheerleader and, no matter what, love them for who they are. Their time to shine might not yet have arrived. This is why we must also wait in wonder and watch with awe. Sometimes the best gift is that of a little more time. There is nothing wrong with being a late bloomer. Most us are!
Nikki Bush

Don't miss our Nikki Bush talk on "Bridging the Digital Divide". Bookings Mrs Shepherd (0117067414). The talk takes place in the IP Technology Room on Saturday, 29 October.  Refreshments will be served from 09:00 and the presentation will begin at 09:30 - 11:00. The cost is R60 per person and confirmation of payments and bookings are to please be directed to Keryn Shepherd, IP Office(primaryschool@brescia.co.za)